The Perfect Soldier
by Catharin
Summary: Emily her memory has been wiped and she doesn't remember anything prior to waking up in the room where she was made an experiment. Her task: choose Dauntless and become the perfect soldier. The only problem is that it's not that easy to blend in, and someone might just notice her abnormal behavior...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, this is my first fanfiction so please be kind! :) I've had this huge story in my head for a very long time already and I'm sort of impulsively posting this online. The first chapter is sort of an experiment to see if people will like it. I really hope you will like it! Update: sorry I deleted and reuploaded this chapter, I needed to change something only to realize you can do that without having to delete your story lol.**

 **Chapter 1: Welcome to...**

I remember the day I woke up. It remains, to this day, the most confusing thing I have ever experienced. I remember seeing the insides of my eyelids. They were red, indicating that wherever I was, it was light. Although, at that point, I couldn't process such information.

It did feel like a certain amount of time had gone by. Like I had been on a journey, up until the moment of waking up, but I couldn't remember it. I couldn't remember anything: who I was, where I was, what had happened or what was about to.

Had I woken up from a dream?

All I could see was red and all I could hear was a bleeping sound, repeating itself in a constant rhythm. That was when my brain started registering the pain. My entire body hurt immensely.

I tried to open my eyes but it was too light to see anything. Out of reflex I attempted to lift my right arm as to shield my face from the light, but I couldn't, it was being held back by something. Slowly, very slowly, I managed to open my eyes, but everything was a haze. I couldn't see clearly and everything was moving, like I had been spinning in circles for hours. Through the dizziness I managed to see the blurry image of my arm, chained down and covered in blood, right before it moved out of focus again.

I didn't feel anything in particular upon seeing this image. I suppose it would make anyone feel frightened, scared. But not me, not then. I merely felt confusion and curiosity. And pain. I was still in a lot of pain.

Everything was sore. It felt as if I had been beaten to pieces with a baseball bat and then left there to die on my own. For all I knew, that's exactly what had happened. I managed to see that my other arm was chained down and splattered with blood as well.

Once the dizziness started to fade I came to realize that my entire body was chained down to what could only be described as an enhanced dental chair. I was wearing a white pair of pajama shorts and a matching top, both stained dark red. My legs were relatively clean, apart from a trail of blood here and there, leaving a warm sensation before it dripped on the clean, white floor.

There were little round pieces of tape pasted on my chest and there was a clear tube protruding from my right hand, leading towards something behind me, but I couldn't see what it was, I couldn't tilt my head that far. That was when I realized that the bleeping sounds matched my heart rate. I supposed I was in a hospital of some sorts, though if that were true, it must've been the most lugubrious hospital I had ever been in.

Wanting to make sense of things, I looked around the room, but there was not a lot to see. The room was entirely white, except for the wall in front of me, which was black. Quickly, I noticed it wasn't a wall, but what appeared to be a screen. This made me wonder… what was behind it?

For a while, I lay there, staring at my own reflection in the pitch-black glass in front of me, unable to recognize myself. Was this me? I couldn't recall ever seeing myself in a mirror. I certainly couldn't remember ever seeing myself like _this_.

I continued to marvel at the screen and the possible world behind it. Were there people behind it? And if so, were they watching me? And if they were watching me, why were they? Why weren't they helping me, since I was obviously in a lot of pain?

 _Why was I here?  
_  
Ignoring the pain, I tried jamming my arms loose, but the metal straps were too strong and they were tearing at my skin. I fidgeted with my legs and tried pulling my feet through the holes, but no such luck, there, either. _  
_

Soon I realized there was no way I was getting out of there. I was stuck. No memories, nowhere to go.

Then, I saw it. It was right there above the top of the screen. It was tiny, very tiny, but I saw it. A tiny little black dot.

Was it a camera? It must've been. I stared at it. Right at it, without blinking, as if doing so would let me see the possible spectators standing at the other side of the screen. I jammed my arms once more, all the while not looking away from the tiny camera. As if to say: _let me out. Let. Me. Out._

And then I heard myself say it. It was quiet and hoarse and unrecognizable.

"Let me out."

"Good, you can speak."

The voice was loud, amplified, booming through the room, a female voice answering almost instantly, confirming my suspicions that there were people watching me closely ever since I awoke.

Almost right after I heard the voice, a door I didn't know was there slid open in the right hand corner of the room. Figures entered the room and approached me. I couldn't see who they were as they were wearing some sort of tight-fitting spacesuits. I also couldn't comprehend how many figures there were as my mind was still kind of foggy.

The tapes were being removed from my chest and the tube was being removed from my hand. A cold, wet cloth removed the blood from my legs and arms and I was being carried out of the chair and onto a brancard. The movements and the change of position made my head spin again and my body was still aching everywhere. I wanted to know what was going on, but the dizziness shut me up. I knew that if I tried to speak, I would probably throw up.

The figures wheeled me towards the exit, proceeding through the automatic door while I turned my head and shot one last glance at the white chair in which I had woken up just minutes earlier, which had a deep red puddle in it and a big splatter on the headrest, right before it disappeared around the corner.

All I could do was lay back my head while the spacesuited figures wheeled me through what seemed like endless hallways, barely taking any turns, going straight ahead towards an unknown destination. There was nothing to see but grey walls and the lights above, coming and going, coming and going. They were bright, hurting my eyes whenever they passed. At times I'd open my mouth to speak, but when words failed to come out, I'd close my mouth once more.

These hallways looked fairly different compared to the white room we had just left. It almost looked like a bomb shelter or a dungeon of some sorts, lit with flickering TL lights instead of the sleek, modern lighting I had woken up to. It made me think we were underground, and that not a lot of people ever set foot in this place, wherever it was.

After a while, the lights stopped, as I was wheeled through another automatic door into a long, rectangular room, just as dark and moody as the hallways, though slightly less cold and abandoned-looking, and lit with lights that were a lot easier on the eyes. There were several hospital beds placed in a row against the far back wall, but they were empty. I was rolled towards one of the beds and they carried me onto it, the movement making me nauseous, only this time, I couldn't control it anymore.

I quickly rolled to the side of the bed and hovered over the floor as I started gagging. Then I threw up.

The team of figures was alert, cleaning up my vomit immediately, as if they had expected this to happen. While they did so, I rolled back onto the bed and let out a tired sigh as my eyes closed and I drifted to sleep.

I woke up feeling slightly better. Opening my eyes, I noticed a group of people standing in front of me. Slowly they came into focus, and one figure stood at the front. She was wearing a blue blazer and a skirt and she had blonde, shoulder length hair. She was holding a clipboard under her arm and she looked at me with a proud expression on her face.

"Hello," she said cheerfully, "welcome to Erudite."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Questions and answers, answers and questions**

Erudite. Of course. Suddenly, a wave of memories rushed through my head. Faction. Faction before blood. The faction system. I knew what it was, all of it. I remembered the world I lived in. Of course, how could I forget? The factions were Abnegation, Candor, Erudite, Dauntless and Amity. I still couldn't remember who I was, what I had been through and what Faction I was from. I also still had no idea who this woman was, but I remembered the faction system, and I knew it was important.

I murmured something but it wasn't understandable. I sat up in my bed a bit and flinched when it hurt. I heard a clattering sound and I looked down, at my hands, they were handcuffed. I looked up, at the woman, who noticed my confusion.

"Just a precaution," she smiled.

"…who are you…?" I asked hoarsely.

"My name is Jeanine Matthews," the woman answered, "I'm the leader of Erudite. I'm here to see how you are doing, you've been through a lot," she said.

"Are you going to tell me… why I am here?" I asked, noticing that talking seemed a bit difficult. As if I had to search for the words before I could say them.

"I will, but not just quite yet." Jeanine motioned to one of the people standing behind her, who grabbed a chair from the corner of the infirmary and placed it next to my bed. She then took a seat on the chair and faced me, placing the clipboard on her lap. "I'm sure you're very curious to know what's going on," she continued, "not to worry, the most important thing to know is that _you're safe with us_."

"Then why am I handcuffed?" I asked skeptically. Jeanine chuckled.

"I see you're into asking questions," she laughed, "but, well, just because _you_ are safe with _us_ doesn't necessarily mean that _we_ are safe with _you_. As cruel as it may sound, what you've experienced could very well be a traumatic experience, and we do not know the possible behavior a patient might show—"

"A patient? So… I'm ill, right? Like, memory loss?" I asked. Jeanine looked at me as if she had been waiting to answer this particular question.

"You _were_ ill. Though, as weak as you might feel right now, the fact is," Jeanine leaned in a bit closer, looking as if what she was about to say was either extremely important, " _you were never better._ "

I stared at her in disbelief. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what she was trying to tell me, it was all very strange and very weird and I didn't feel like it was real at all.

"What's going on…" I whispered, "...am… am I awake? This is a dream, right? I'm asleep right now and I'll wake up any second now, once you realize you're sleeping it usually doesn't take very long for a person to wake up, and…"

"You're not sleeping" Jeanine said, standing up from her chair, as if I was about to do something unexpected. But I wasn't. Because I didn't feel like doing something unexpected. I was wondering if I even felt something at all. I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel angry, I didn't feel hurt or anything like that. But why wasn't I? "You know what, I think it's time we tell you everything, what do you say?" Jeanine asked me.

"Please" I answered politely.

"Not here" she then said as she motioned for one of the others once more to put the chair back to its original spot, and they helped me into a wheelchair again. This time the movements didn't make me feel dizzy, but that gave me more room to realize how much my muscles were aching. I decided not to ask them about it, since I knew they were not going to answer me.

They brought me to another room, which looked a bit more sleek just like the first room, only very small. There was nothing but a table in the centre of the room, and two chairs, one of which Jeanine was already sitting on. She gestured towards the chair opposite of the table and they wheeled me towards it. As they proceeded to help me out of the wheelchair, Jeanine raised her hand.

"Wait. I'd like her to try herself," she said. Her co-workers stopped for a while before they let me go and exited the room. The fact that there was a screen in the room yet again told me that the other people were probably not that far away. "Go ahead, take a seat in the chair," Jeanine said.

I struggled with my chained hands and leaned them on one armrest of the wheelchair. It was a little bit difficult but I managed to pull myself up and shuffle towards the chair at the table. I sat down on the chair and made myself comfortable, although I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. Jeanine noticed.

"Don't worry about that, your muscles are getting used to… well, being used. It'll be over soon, considering you've healed this fast already" Jeanine said. I thought about what she said. She was right, I had healed fairly quickly…

"How long was I out?" I asked, trying to make sense of time.

"Only a couple of hours" Jeanine answered. I was having a hard time believing that, considering the fact that I felt as if I had been sleeping for weeks.

"Okay, so, tell me the situation, please" I said.

Jeanine looked at me with narrowed eyes, scrutinizing, almost. As if she was trying to read my emotions, and I wondered if it was yet again because she expected me to do something unexpected. As if I was dangerous, and needed to be handcuffed. Which I still was.

"Very well," Jeanine continued, flipping the first page of her stack of papers, "let's begin with some questions" she said. I sighed a little, not feeling like answering questions, because I thought I would be getting some answers myself. But I decided to just go with it. "First of all, do you remember your first name?" she asked me. My eyes darted around the room. No, I didn't know my first name. I didn't know anything, that was kind of the problem. I shook my head. "Please answer out loud so that they can hear you on the tape…" Jeanine said.

"No" I spoke, it came out as hoarse as ever.

She ticked off something on the paper, and continued.

"Do you know your last name?" Jeanine asked.

"No"

She ticked off something again.

"Age?"

"No"

Tick.

"Alright. Do you know your faction?"

I looked up at her. "…no. No, I don't. But I do know… I do know the factions, and everything. I remember those" I said.

"Very good" Jeanine replied.

Tick.

I tried to think further, breaking more barriers in my head. More memories, more information, but I never came any further than this. It bothered me excessively that I had access to the faction system, but when I tried to think of more, it was empty. A dead end.

"Very well, not to worry, this is good," Jeanine smiled, and I wondered how on earth it could be considered 'good' to not remember anything about your personal life, "now, I'm going to tell you some things," she said.

She flipped to the next page of her stack of papers. There was a short break before she started speaking.

"Your first name is Emily, your last name is Black, you are sixteen years old and your faction is Abnegation."

I stared at her for a while. Then I looked down at my own hands. I blinked. As little information as this was, it felt like a lot to process.

"Now," she continued while she passed me a sheet of paper with all the information she had just told me on it, "you were in an accident…" My head shot up.

"An accident?" I asked.

"You've got to learn to listen, dear," she said and I nodded, then she continued with her story, "we found you in the ruins of your childhood home in Abnegation. There had been an explosion, the source of which still unknown, we are currently looking into that, however, there was nearly nothing left. Your parents did not survive, your older brother did not survive, your childhood home did not survive… but you did."

All I could do was stare at the table. My home… it was gone, apparently. My folks and my brother… whom I had no idea I even had, so strangely enough, it did not sadden me. Jeanine noticed I wasn't asking questions anymore, so she continued again.

"There was nearly nothing left of you, though. We took the task upon us to take you in and patch you up, because we are simply not the type of people to leave residents on the cold street to die. After we took you in, however, we came to the conclusion that you were a lost cause. Several broken ribs, broken spine, your arms and legs were paralyzed, and you were barely approachable. You were bleeding to death, so…" as she stood up to pace around the room she said the words as if it hurt her deeply, but for some reason I did not believe her emotions, "we gave you a way out. We made you an offer. An offer that had been standing for years, untouched, but we decided that you were the right candidate, we knew your potential, we had for a very long time…" she stopped walking and was facing the screen. I looked at the back of her head but could see her face in the black reflection. She looked worried, puzzled… Then she looked up, "I think it's time we show you."

I thought about saying something, but my brain was still processing everything I had just heard. I decided to say nothing, and just see what she had to show.

She walked towards me and stood beside me, looking at the screen. I stared at it too, thinking something must appear on it. And then it did.

I saw myself, on a hospital bed, covered in blood, broken, dying. In the video Jeanine stood beside me with her team and she spoke: _"Emily Black, do you hereby agree to the terms and conditions, and volunteer to be test subject for the experiment, making you our recruit and—"_

 _"Yes… yes… there is no other way, I volunteer, yes"_ I cried weakly in the video before Jeanine had finished her sentence.

 _"…and meaning that you will suffer memory loss for the rest of your employment, which will last for as long as we decide—"_

 _"…I said… YES, please just do it"_ I said with all my might. Jeanine nodded, right before the Jeanine who was standing next to me stopped the video and the screen turned black.

I stared at it. That was me. She was right, I was bleeding to death… I would've died, and there would be nothing left of me. Although, there wasn't much left of me now, either. But I was here, and apparently I had agreed to that fact.

Jeanine walked back to her seat and faced me again. Once more, she was reading my emotions. Little did she know I barely had any. Or maybe she did know that.

I looked at her and decided to finally speak.

"…I… I guess you were right" I said. Jeanine nodded in response. "What happens now, exactly? What did I agree to, I…"

"You will be serving as an experimental soldier in our army. Don't worry, we will help you through the process fully. See the paper in front of you? On there you will find everything you need to know about yourself. Your name, age, faction. However, we're sending you to a new faction. You see, you need training, since you aren't good in combat yet. And we figured, what better place to train than _Dauntless_."

"I will be a transfer?"

"No, you will fully go through the first years' initiation. The choosing ceremony is in three weeks, meaning you will go to the choosing ceremony like any other student and choose Dauntless accordingly. There, you will experience initiation and learn everything you need to learn without anybody knowing your true motivations. We do not want anybody to know about you or the experiments we're conducting, since that would only cause alarm across the city, and we do not want that. So, it is your job to keep your true cause to yourself, and to do the best you possibly can. And then, hopefully, in the end, you will be _the perfect soldier_."

I looked at myself. My hands, wrists, arms. As gory as they looked in the video, they looked squeaky clean now.

"How did you do it? How… how did I survive? How did I live?" I asked Jeanine.

"I'm glad you asked." She stood up and helped me in my wheelchair again. She wheeled me out of the room and took me some new place yet again. It was a long ride all the way towards the end of the halls. There was a door. It looked big, made out of metal like any other door I had seen, but this one was thick and extra secured. There was a small rectangular window in it, through which one could see.

"What's behind it?" I asked.

"Stand up and see for yourself" Jeanine replied.

"I'm still handcuffed…" I said. Finally, Jeanine agreed to lose my handcuffs, and after she did, I placed my hands on either armrest and slowly lifted myself up, grasping the edge of the rectangular window, and looking through.

Shaking and holding on to the edge with all my might, I saw what was on the other side of the door. There were people in white coats walking around the room, holding all kinds of instruments of which I had no idea what they were. They were handling some kind of liquid, which looked either magical or extremely toxic… a mix of green and blue and almost burning my eyes by looking at it.

Losing grip and strength in my arms a let go of the door and fell back into the wheelchair. I needed a minute to catch my breath.

"What is that?" I asked Jeanine.

" _That_ , is what we call _the serum_. That is what revived you, that is what healed you, that is what made you live." I stared at the grey metal of the door.

"It looks dangerous" I responded honestly.

"That's why we're so glad that you volunteered to help us. You're really the perfect candidate for us to test the serum on, you've truly got many talents and skills."

"Wait… you've got to test it more often?" I asked.

"You will come back once every month, you see, this serum revived you, healed you, but you will also need it to keep you alive. Without it, you will…" Jeanine's words trailed off.

"Die?"

"Yes. Slowly but surely. Your body will begin the process of dying, and you will slowly slip away…" she said. I thought about the serum and the way it worked, which I knew nothing about.

"Can I see it?" I asked Jeanine.

"See what?" she replied.

"How it worked. I want to see myself heal… like in the video, but what happened after you stopped the video, I—"

"There's a reason I stopped the video, Black. You simply don't want to see the healing process. But not to worry… you'll experience it soon enough" Jeanine responded, this time a bit more stern. I knew I wasn't going to be able to see the video. "There's more to the serum… I'll show you."

Jeanine walked around the wheelchair and stood beside me. She took out a very small surgical knife and handed it to me. I looked up at her in confusion.

"What do you want me to do…?" I asked.

"I want you, to very carefully, make a small cut in your skin, wherever you want" Jeanine said. I stared at her for a couple seconds before looking down, at my legs, which were still uncovered. I looked at the knife, doubting. "Go on, it doesn't have to be very painful."

Slowly I took the knife and brought it to my right leg, carefully poking the bare skin. I breathed in and pushed the knife through the first layer and dragged it for about a centimeter, and it started bleeding. It stung. I looked up at Jeanine again.

"Don't look at me, dear. Look at the cut."

I looked down. Not being able to see the cut through the blood, I wiped the wound, making a red smear. There was a clear cut, but it was small, so I inched my head closer to it. But when my face was close enough to my skin to see it, it vanished. Very slowly, the cut became shorter and shorter… until it was gone and my skin was perfectly smooth, except for the blood.

I looked back at Jeanine. She looked proud.

"I can… heal?" I asked carefully.

"The small cuts heal fast, heavy injuries will take longer" she responded.

I looked at my leg, as if the cut would magically reappear, but it didn't, it stayed away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Now you're sad...**

Over the next couple of days they let me stay in the infirmary, as if it were my own bedroom. The spacesuited figures continued taking care of me, changing my sheets and handing me freshly washed clothing. My memory hadn't returned like I had hoped, but I had gotten better physically. They had brought me up to speed about everything I had agreed to do; let them test on me, and train at Dauntless when that time came. Everyday Jeanine brought me to the small, sleek room with the table and chairs to have a conversation, which they taped. They were conversations about everything and nothing, a lot of times I didn't understand the topic. It made me feel childish.

I had spent almost an entire day in the infirmary, lying on my bed, doing nothing particularly. It had been quite boring, I suppose, but it didn't upset me. At the end of the day I heard a knock on the metal door, and Jeanine walked in with a man I hadn't seen before.

"Black, meet your caretaker. He will be taking care of you from now on. I'll let you two get acquainted" Jeanine said before leaving promptly.

The door shut behind her and silence took over the room. I stared at my caretaker, who was a middle-aged, kind-looking man. He looked like he was about in his forties, dark brown hair and a bit of a stubble. I noticed he was feeling slightly uneasy, perhaps he was nervous about meeting me. I wondered what nervousness must've felt like.

"Hello," I decided to say, my voice much less hoarse than a couple days before, "I suppose it is accustomed to ask you your name?" I asked. The man chuckled a bit.

"Actually," he said with a low, scrunchy voice, "you're not allowed to know, sadly."

"…oh." I said, looking down. I noticed he had some papers in his hands.

"But," he said more cheerfully this time, "you can think of a name. If you want" he said. He sounded very kind.

"Trevor" I said. The man laughed again.

"Trevor?" he asked.

"Yes…" I said, "I read that word somewhere. Name, I mean name. I believe I read it that name somewhere."

"Well, that's very well possible, I actually had an uncle named Trevor" he responded, finding it quite amusing. I looked at him. His face dropped when he saw I wasn't laughing nor smiling. I frowned.

"Oh… I mean…" I thought about what to say. Should I laugh? "I guess you stole his name then" I attempted to joke. It seemed to work, since the new Trevor laughed again.

"I guess I did" Trevor said, writing something down on one of the papers. That confused me.

"Are you writing down the name I gave you?" I asked him. Trevor walked towards my bed.

"I'm gonna need to remember it, don't I?" he gave as an excuse. I didn't know if he was lying, but I decided to just let it drop. "Alright, I need to take your temperature and I'm going to need a blood sample." Trevor said. I sat up in my bed, ready to be tested. "You look way too excited to be getting your blood drawn" he then said. I looked at him.

"I agreed to this, didn't I?" I asked.

"I suppose you did," he replied, taking some sort of device I hadn't seen before, "I'm just going to need to put this in your ear, it may be a bit cold" he said as he moved my hair out of the way and started taking my temperature in my left ear.

"And?" I asked when he was done.

"Confidential" he responded.

"I'm not allowed to know something about my own body?" I asked? Trevor shrugged.

"Not my rules," he said as he proceeded to tie my left arm. I stared at the vein while he took a syringe and pointed it at my arm, ready to protrude my skin. "Aren't you gonna look away?" he asked. I shook my head. He pierced the needle through my skin and the syringe filled itself with my blood. When he was ready he cleaned everything up and started washing his hands in a sink attached to the wall across from me. I looked at his back for a while, wanting to say something.

"Jeanine said I was going to experience the serum soon enough. What does 'soon enough' mean?" I asked him while he was rinsing his hands off. After he dried off his hands he turned around to face me.

"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to tell you anything. You shouldn't be asking me all these questions" he said honestly.

"My apologies" I replied kindly, though it sounded blunt. He laughed a bit.

"That's alright. Anyways, I'm done here. I've got some other business to take care of, so, get some rest and take it easy" he smiled right before he exited the infirmary.

After that I stared at the door for about half an hour.

For the next week or so, Trevor continued to visit me as my caretaker to take my temperature, draw my blood when needed, bring me food and water and give me fresh clothes. We had gotten acquainted over the days and he was a nice addition to my stay at Erudite. Although I still couldn't believe I was in Erudite, since it didn't look like the Erudite I remembered at all. Whenever I asked if we were underground, I wasn't allowed to know the answer. I was, however, allowed to know a lot of things about Trevor. How he had worked in a hospital in his twenties, began working for Jeanine when he was thirty and was very proud to be working for the experiment now. He saw this as the highlight of his career, and that somehow made me sympathize with him. He had two daughters, named Lola and Arianne, and he loved them very much. When he tried to explain what it felt like to love someone very much, it made me feel warm inside, but only ever so slightly.

On the thirteenth day, after doing his job, Trevor turned to me right before leaving.

"So, ehm… they said tomorrow's my last day of taking care of you" he said. I looked up and frowned.

"Oh… I guess that's unfortunate" I responded. Trevor laughed and nodded.

"It is. I must say, you're really one of the most cooperative patients I've ever taken care of" he smiled.

"Well, I'm flattered" I smiled.

"Look at that, a legitimate smile" Trevor laughed.

"Well, they told me I was talented" I responded.

"It was nice getting to know you. Take care, Emily" he said and I nodded. He then proceeded through the metal door and when it fell shut you could hear the sound of it echoing through the infirmary. It sounded lonely, and that was kind of how I felt.

I decided to try to forget the possibility that I would never see Trevor again and I turned in my hospital bed to sleep.

A couple of hours later I was woken by Jeanine standing in the exact same spot where she stood when I first met her.

"It's time for your first test" she said and she motioned for me to get out of bed. Two of her doctors took me by my arms and they guided me out of the infirmary and through the dark hallways, towards a place where I had only been once. The first testing room.

As I walked under the fluorescent lights I felt tired and I realized I probably needed a lot more sleep.

We approached the automatic doors, and when they opened and we rounded the corner, I saw two soldiers and Trevor kneeling with his back facing the wall with the screen, his hands cuffed behind him and he looked beaten up.

When I reacted to the sight they tightened their grip on my arms and they pulled me towards the center of the room where normally the chair would be, and they forced me to face Trevor.

"Why are we here?" I asked, looking at Jeanine, who didn't respond to me but only nodded at the left soldier, who then lifted a gun and pointed it at Trevor.

A wave of fear rushed through me, something I didn't know I was even capable of. I squirmed in the doctor's grip.

"N—no, what are you doing? Why are you doing this, he didn't do anything wrong!" I said, overwhelmed with unknown emotions.

Trevor looked up at me and just when he did I saw Jeanine nodding once more in the corner of my eye, and as soon as she did the soldier pulled the trigger and shot Trevor through the side of his head, making blood splatter on the automatic doors and making Trevor fall to the floor, emotionless, motionless and dead.

I felt confusion, sadness and anger rise up. A tear left my eye and all I could yell was 'why!?'. I couldn't look away from Trevor's face and I couldn't understand why they would kill such a harmless man, who had such a good heart and a lot to offer. The doctors had trouble trying to keep me in my place, and I heard Jeanine's heals stepping closer towards me, and she spoke to one of the doctors.

"Up her dosage" she said, and they dragged me towards the exit.

The last thing I saw of Trevor was the blood oozing from his skull.

They locked me up in the infirmary again and I found myself banging on the door, screaming to let me out. It tired me but I didn't stop, it was like my body was running on emotions and I had no control over anything anymore. Eventually they came back to get me, handcuffed me and took me back to the testing room, where they had gotten rid of Trevor's body and the mess it had made, and they put me in the chair that was now back in its place. They strapped my arms and legs like they had in the beginning of this all, and everybody left the room except for one of the doctors.

"You're gonna regret this" I said without really knowing who I said it to, or why I even said it. I said it automatically, but it felt like I really meant it.

The doctor put the clear tube back in my hand and put the round pieces of tape back on my chest. I couldn't resist anymore, I just laid there, stuck, hurt, sad. I cried, softly but very loud in my own head.

Then the clear tube turned green and I started feeling the worst pain I had ever felt.

It felt as if I was being stabbed with knifes all over my body. Like everything was on fire, like I was gonna explode. Like I had already exploded but could still feel.

I screamed, loud.

I passed out from the pain.

After an unknown amount of time, I woke up, just like the first time. Only this time, I remembered the past two weeks. I remembered waking up not remembering anything, I remembered my own blood, I remembered throwing up, I remembered meeting Jeanine Matthews, I remembered meeting Trevor, I remember watching Trevor get killed, I remembered the pain.

I remembered everything.

But I didn't feel sad anymore.


End file.
